Getting to know who I am is a part of me learning the concept of
self. While I know that I am a daughter,
sister, mother and friend to others I often wonder do those titles define who I
am as person or are they merely roles that I play in my life. Self-concept is defined “as the general idea
people have about themselves; that is, it is a complex and dynamic system of
learned beliefs and attitudes that one believes to be true about one’s own
personal existence” (Smith & Hung, 2010).
An individual’s self-concept shows how they view themselves in three
major areas, ideal self, and public self and real self. Ideal self is what someone wants to be, it is
who they see themselves as; public self is what an individual believes others
think of them; real self is what an individual think of themselves. If an
individual is experiencing inconsistencies between their ideal self, public
self and real self it can initiate psychological issues creating havoc in their
life. Behavior, personality traits and other
characteristics are other areas that an individual must recognize when understanding
their self-concept.
Self-schemas are “beliefs about self that organize and guide the
processing of self-relevant information” (Myers, 2010 p. 39). Learning about self-schemas has allowed me to
understand why I tend to notice certain things about people. Self-schemas are
the mental pictures that people use to evaluate themselves as well as others. People in the music industry come to mind
while I am learning about self-schemas.
Singers, song writers and performers have a talent that they believe
they are good at and for the most part most of them are very good at what they
do. Often there are time’s that people
in the music industry are seen or heard either appraising or criticizing others
in the same line of work and I believe it has a lot to do with how they see
themselves as a singer, song writer or performer in comparison to others.
The development of the social self plays a major part in
self-concept because “it helps organize our thinking and guide our social
behavior” (Myers, 2010 p. 40). The
social self is developed through certain social influences such as the roles an
individual play, social identities formed, comparisons made to others, how an
individual is judged and their culture. The
roles an individual play in their life has a way of shaping their
behavior. For example, I stated earlier
in my essay that I am a daughter, sister, mother and friend and that these were
merely roles in my life and I wonder if these roles define who I am as a
person. As I continue my research on the
concept of self I have learned that these roles I play in my life not only help
others to identify with who I am, they are also designed to help me understand
what is expected of me in different situations.
I can now understand how the roles I play help form my social identity
to give me more clarification of who I am.
A social comparison is defined as “evaluating one’s abilities and
opinion by comparing oneself with others” (Myers, 2010 p. 40). Social comparisons are made without people
even realizing that they are being made because individuals compare themselves
with other people they are around to reflect on the differences so they can
distinguish who they are.
Self-esteem represents how an individual values themselves. Self-esteem is the evaluation of self in
either a positive or negative way.
Having a positive view of oneself will ultimately result in high
self-esteem which allows an individual to feel confident about their ability to
accomplish task. An individual with high
self-esteem accepts themselves as they are and does not worry about what others
think and are pretty optimistic about things in their life. I like whom I am, I
think of myself as beautiful intelligent woman and if someone does not agree
that is ok they are entitled to their opinion but it does not have any effect
on how I feel about myself. When an individual has negative views of themselves
the result is most likely low self-esteem, which more than likely will lead to
them lacking confidence, wanting to be like someone else, constantly worrying
about what others think of them and pessimist.
Self-efficacy is defined as “a sense that one is competent and
effective” (Myers, 2010 p. 57).
Self-efficacy differs from self-esteem because self-efficacy focuses on what
an individual feels that they can accomplish as compared to self-esteem is how
an individual feels about themselves.
Individuals like me that have a strong sense of self-efficacy view
perplexed problems as things to gain control over and solve, commit themselves
to things of interest and activities and overcome obstacles quickly. Individuals that do not possess a strong
sense of self-efficacy avoid things that challenge them; they focus mainly on
the negative in any situation therefore will not put forth any effort on a task
because they believe it is impossible for them to do.
Becoming a mother at the age of sixteen was an experience that
affected my personal development. I was
a good babysitter for the neighbors so when I became pregnant I felt like it
was going to be a piece of cake although my mother was completely against me having
the baby, it was ultimately my decision and it was a decision that forever
changed my life. As a young mother my
social life was limited to the interactions I had in school with my classmates,
on my way to and from school and if someone was nice enough to stop by and
visit. I did not get to experience the
things that most of my peers were doing because I had to care for my baby. Although I was not the only one in my high school
class that had a baby while in school I still felt a little out of place when
it came to school functions, so I did not attend anything except
graduation. My self-esteem suffered a
bit because sometimes I did not think highly of myself because of I was always
comparing my life to my peers and wondering why did I make the decision I made,
however I believed that no matter what the decision I was completely capable of
handling the situation.
The death of my father was another experience that affected my
personal development. His death itself
was tragic and the way his family behaved towards me during the time when
arrangements were being made for his funeral was terrible. I was the only child and my father was never
married so that made me the next of kin and my father was Muslim and his mother
is Christian which created a conflict because his wishes were already noted on
how he was to be buried and his mother disagreed so she asked for proof of
paternity to prolong services. While
dealing with his death and his mother, other family members begin to sell all
of his belongings so by the time I went to his home nothing was there, not even
a photo of him for keepsake. I could
have fought through the court system to get rights to his properties and so
forth but at that time and during that situation I possessed a weak sense of
self-efficacy because I felt nothing good was going to come out of that
situation because of everything that had already happened.
In conclusion, self-concept is all about the views one have of
themselves and will continue to change throughout an individual’s life because
of changes in feelings, personal beliefs and thoughts when exposed to new
things that can give them a different perspective. Self-concept stems from
different factors such as behavior, personality traits, values and beliefs, and
roles that an individual play in their life.
The development of the social self focuses on relationships with others
and helps with the development of self-concept in an individual. All of the factors discussed in this essay
helps an individual answer the question Who Am I.
