Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Personal Reflection

Getting to know who I am is a part of me learning the concept of self.  While I know that I am a daughter, sister, mother and friend to others I often wonder do those titles define who I am as person or are they merely roles that I play in my life.   Self-concept is defined “as the general idea people have about themselves; that is, it is a complex and dynamic system of learned beliefs and attitudes that one believes to be true about one’s own personal existence” (Smith & Hung, 2010).  An individual’s self-concept shows how they view themselves in three major areas, ideal self, and public self and real self.  Ideal self is what someone wants to be, it is who they see themselves as; public self is what an individual believes others think of them; real self is what an individual think of themselves. If an individual is experiencing inconsistencies between their ideal self, public self and real self it can initiate psychological issues creating havoc in their life.   Behavior, personality traits and other characteristics are other areas that an individual must recognize when understanding their self-concept. 
Self-schemas are “beliefs about self that organize and guide the processing of self-relevant information” (Myers, 2010 p. 39).  Learning about self-schemas has allowed me to understand why I tend to notice certain things about people. Self-schemas are the mental pictures that people use to evaluate themselves as well as others.  People in the music industry come to mind while I am learning about self-schemas.  Singers, song writers and performers have a talent that they believe they are good at and for the most part most of them are very good at what they do.  Often there are time’s that people in the music industry are seen or heard either appraising or criticizing others in the same line of work and I believe it has a lot to do with how they see themselves as a singer, song writer or performer in comparison to others.
The development of the social self plays a major part in self-concept because “it helps organize our thinking and guide our social behavior” (Myers, 2010 p. 40).   The social self is developed through certain social influences such as the roles an individual play, social identities formed, comparisons made to others, how an individual is judged and their culture.  The roles an individual play in their life has a way of shaping their behavior.  For example, I stated earlier in my essay that I am a daughter, sister, mother and friend and that these were merely roles in my life and I wonder if these roles define who I am as a person.  As I continue my research on the concept of self I have learned that these roles I play in my life not only help others to identify with who I am, they are also designed to help me understand what is expected of me in different situations.  I can now understand how the roles I play help form my social identity to give me more clarification of who I am.  A social comparison is defined as “evaluating one’s abilities and opinion by comparing oneself with others” (Myers, 2010 p. 40).  Social comparisons are made without people even realizing that they are being made because individuals compare themselves with other people they are around to reflect on the differences so they can distinguish who they are. 
Self-esteem represents how an individual values themselves.   Self-esteem is the evaluation of self in either a positive or negative way.  Having a positive view of oneself will ultimately result in high self-esteem which allows an individual to feel confident about their ability to accomplish task.  An individual with high self-esteem accepts themselves as they are and does not worry about what others think and are pretty optimistic about things in their life. I like whom I am, I think of myself as beautiful intelligent woman and if someone does not agree that is ok they are entitled to their opinion but it does not have any effect on how I feel about myself. When an individual has negative views of themselves the result is most likely low self-esteem, which more than likely will lead to them lacking confidence, wanting to be like someone else, constantly worrying about what others think of them and pessimist.  
Self-efficacy is defined as “a sense that one is competent and effective” (Myers, 2010 p. 57).  Self-efficacy differs from self-esteem because self-efficacy focuses on what an individual feels that they can accomplish as compared to self-esteem is how an individual feels about themselves.  Individuals like me that have a strong sense of self-efficacy view perplexed problems as things to gain control over and solve, commit themselves to things of interest and activities and overcome obstacles quickly.  Individuals that do not possess a strong sense of self-efficacy avoid things that challenge them; they focus mainly on the negative in any situation therefore will not put forth any effort on a task because they believe it is impossible for them to do. 
Becoming a mother at the age of sixteen was an experience that affected my personal development.  I was a good babysitter for the neighbors so when I became pregnant I felt like it was going to be a piece of cake although my mother was completely against me having the baby, it was ultimately my decision and it was a decision that forever changed my life.  As a young mother my social life was limited to the interactions I had in school with my classmates, on my way to and from school and if someone was nice enough to stop by and visit.  I did not get to experience the things that most of my peers were doing because I had to care for my baby.  Although I was not the only one in my high school class that had a baby while in school I still felt a little out of place when it came to school functions, so I did not attend anything except graduation.  My self-esteem suffered a bit because sometimes I did not think highly of myself because of I was always comparing my life to my peers and wondering why did I make the decision I made, however I believed that no matter what the decision I was completely capable of handling the situation.
The death of my father was another experience that affected my personal development.  His death itself was tragic and the way his family behaved towards me during the time when arrangements were being made for his funeral was terrible.  I was the only child and my father was never married so that made me the next of kin and my father was Muslim and his mother is Christian which created a conflict because his wishes were already noted on how he was to be buried and his mother disagreed so she asked for proof of paternity to prolong services.  While dealing with his death and his mother, other family members begin to sell all of his belongings so by the time I went to his home nothing was there, not even a photo of him for keepsake.  I could have fought through the court system to get rights to his properties and so forth but at that time and during that situation I possessed a weak sense of self-efficacy because I felt nothing good was going to come out of that situation because of everything that had already happened.
In conclusion, self-concept is all about the views one have of themselves and will continue to change throughout an individual’s life because of changes in feelings, personal beliefs and thoughts when exposed to new things that can give them a different perspective. Self-concept stems from different factors such as behavior, personality traits, values and beliefs, and roles that an individual play in their life.  The development of the social self focuses on relationships with others and helps with the development of self-concept in an individual.  All of the factors discussed in this essay helps an individual answer the question Who Am I.



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